Ten years. One man who cheated constantly, paid bills occasionally, and somehow always had money for cocaine.
Haley's story comes with a twist we don't hear often — this wasn't a secret drug situation she discovered. They were in it together. And when substances are a shared part of your relationship, they become a tool too — for avoiding accountability, for keeping you too hazy to fight back, for spending money that was supposed to go to rent.
She met him at work, helped him get around after a DUI took his license, and watched him slowly absorb everything she had built — her friend group, her family, her finances, her name on every bill. He came with almost nothing and left with a decade of her life.
There were fake Facebook accounts. An anniversary date with another woman. A message caught while changing songs on his phone during vacation. A window he put her head through and then told her never happened. A birthday he ruined every single year because it wasn't about him.
And through all of it — the cheating, the cocaine, the casino nights, the couch sleeping, the silent treatments, the financial drain — Haley kept the lights on, kept showing up to work, and somehow kept believing the next version of him might be different.
It wasn't. But she got out. And she got the dog.
Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of drug use, including cocaine and heroin, financial abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, infidelity, and physical altercations. Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence of any kind, you are not alone. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, help is available. Call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 — free, confidential, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Narcissists, Gaslighters, & Cheaters, Oh My! — real folks, real stories, survival & healing.
