Fight, No Flight Continues
Neil came back. And he is not the same man.
Part II is the healing episode. If Part I was the wreckage, this is what Neil found in the rubble — and what he chose to do about it.
It started with a Google search, a Joe Rogan podcast, and a plant-based psychedelic called ibogaine that he'd never heard of before. Within 45 minutes of his first phone call with the clinic, he had booked a flight to Mexico. Six days later, he came home a different person.
Neil walks Behk and LAH through all of it — what ibogaine actually is, how the retreat worked, the safety protocols, the trip itself, and what came through on the other side of it. A vision of the universe so vast it made self-destruction feel small. A ball of generational pain he pulled from his chest and watched transform into light. And a father he hadn't thought of in over a decade, who appeared at the edge of his bed and — in classic stubborn-dad fashion — made him figure it out himself.
He also talks about what's changed since. The music shifted. The coffee stopped tasting right. Parts of his brain he didn't know were sleeping woke up. Therapy started moving in long jumps instead of small steps. And for the first time in his life, someone told him they were proud of him — and he felt it.
This episode is for anyone who has tried the conventional path and found it wasn't enough. For the men who never learned that flight was an option. For anyone sitting in a Royal Rumble of noise, knowing what they want but unable to get there.
Neil has offered to connect with anyone whose story resonates with his. Reach out to us at ngcompod.com, and we'll pass it along.
Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of suicidal ideation, alternative mental health treatments, and substance use in a therapeutic context. Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is struggling:
Canada: Crisis Services Canada — call or text 988
United States: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988
Narcissists, Gaslighters, & Cheaters, Oh My! — real folks, real stories, survival & healing.
